Halfway to Nirvana

kw: book reviews, nonfiction, psychology, spirituality

Reading unedited (or only lightly edited) conversations is some of the hardest reading there is, even when one of the participants is the Dalai Lama. I tried, and struggled, and strained, and halfway through I just bogged down and stopped. Maybe I'll get the book on Books on Tape and listen to it!

The book is Emotional Awareness: Overcoming the Obstacles to Psychological Balance and Compassion, edited by Paul Ekman, PhD, the other participant. Dr. Ekman and the Dalai Lama spent a total of twelve hours together in several long conversations from 2000 to 2007. They were seeking common ground between esoteric Buddhism and Western Psychology, though Dr. Ekman's particular take on psychology is informed by his study of the fleeting expressions that reveal our emotions.

The early parts of the book are spent exploring more negative emotions such as anger, disdain and hatred; maybe I should have read the second half first, for its subjects of compassion and empathy are a little less onerous. I skipped about to check. The reading is equally hard, but a bit easier to stomach overall.

The Tibetan language has words for emotions that are not found in Western languages, while Western emotional studies distinguish emotions from moods; moods are not taken account of in Tibetan emotional theory. That theory is rooted in the moment, so perhaps it makes sense that it ignores moods, which are chronic conditions that predispose us to particular sets of emotions.

There was agreement on this distinction: it is relatively easy to understand what is needed to "catch" an emotion before it becomes a potentially destructive action, but it requires years of study and arduous practice to learn to first recognize the emotive process, then modify it. Most likely, very few people are capable of doing so, no matter how much they might practice. Many are little disposed to practice anyway.

What little I learned of compassion, as expressed by the Dalai Lama, makes sense of the old koan, "What sound does a single hand make, clapping?" Put in Western terms, just as it takes two hands to clap, it takes two to tangle. A truly emotionally adept person can decline to fight without causing offense. For the rest of us, we "bring it on." We all know sayings like "count to ten." Most of us even remember Jesus and Steven both saying, "Father, forgive them." But I expect, if I were the one about to be crucified or stoned, I'd struggle; I'd try to "take a few out with me."

Where is the place of compassion in the midst of a world full of opressors and terrorists? Having compassion with a crazy terrorist is an excellent way of losing one's head. Could Gandhi's nonviolent, compassionate methods make any headway against Fidel Castro's (or Raul Castro's) Communist regime? The Dalai Lama hasn't made much progress in freeing Tibet from Chinese Communism. I mean what I say. One of my dearest friends was a Cuban apostle who spent years in prison camps, then took advantage of a furlough to swim to freedom. He now lives in California.

Here is Gandhi's secret: The British knew they were wrong. They could be shamed. Here is why China won't go the way Britain did: They think they are right. They cannot be shamed. Compassion is useless on a one-way street. Two hands can't clap if one of them is holding a gun: soon there is only one hand.